That River in Egypt
by The Alleycat Ulan
Summary: Because the Nile isn’t just a river in Egypt and because she absolutely did not love James Potter- James/Lily oneshot


This fic was one of those lightbulb moments. Just hit me in the middle of class one day. I'm glad it did coz this was fun to write and I'm quiet happy with the way it turned out. The bits in italics are from wikipedia's article on denial.

Thanks to idreamoffantasy (Kitty) and Pie who both beta'd for me.

Enjoy!

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**That River in Egypt**

_Because the Nile isn't just a river in Egypt and because she absolutely did not love James Potter. _

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__**Denial**__ is a defence mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence. _

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**Dear Diary,**

**Today Mary told me I was thick and that was why I was drowning in the Nile. I told her that the Nile was a river in Egypt and since I was in England it was geographically impossible. **

**She just laughed and told me geography had nothing to do with it. **

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There was nothing special about James Potter as far as Lily was concerned. He was just another cocky boy at school whose overly large head was ruled by his genitals and hormones. If she had been asked to describe any other boy at Hogwarts the description would have been much the same. There was absolutely nothing about James Potter that she found all that interesting, absolutely nothing at all.

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_The subject may deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether (simple denial), admit the fact but deny its seriousness (minimization) or admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility (projection)._

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If James found Lily at all intriguing it was solely for the fact that, for a muggle born, she really was a rather remarkable witch. He did not pick on her more than any of the other girls or single her out. He did not watch her eat or eavesdrop on her conversations in hopes of learning a little bit more about her. And he most certainly did not fantasise about her.

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_The theory of denial was first researched seriously by Anna Freud. She classified denial as a mechanism of the immature mind, because it conflicts with the ability to learn from and cope with reality. _

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It may have been these mutual feelings the two shared towards one another that led them to the catalytic situation. Since neither of them felt anything for the other there was no reason for the two to avoid being alone together, so naturally when they were both asked to take a message to the groundskeeper late one night they did not refuse.

Nothing happened of course, and both reasoned that they were the logical choice for running the errand since they were prefects. It had nothing to do with fate or destiny or any other romanticist thing like that.

It was all purely logical. And because it was a purely logical explanation for their selection, neither questioned it when they were asked to do the same thing again some weeks later.

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_Types of Denial_

_**Denial of fact**__: In this form of denial, someone avoids a fact by lying. Someone who is in denial of fact is typically using lies to avoid facts they think may be painful to themselves or others._

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**Dear Diary,**

**James and I were asked to take a message to the groundskeeper again tonight. On the way back James pulled me under one of the trees on the very edge of the forest and kissed me. **

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"Hey, Prongs, is it true that you kissed Evans?"

"No, she kissed me,"

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_**Denial of responsibility**__: This form of denial involves avoiding personal responsibility by blaming, minimizing or justifying. Someone using denial of responsibility is usually attempting to avoid potential harm or pain by shifting attention away from themselves._

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**It probably didn't mean anything to him anyway; I bet he would have done the same with any girl. And anyway, it's not like it meant anything to me.**

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"Did you kiss her back though?"

"So what if I did? It's not like it meant anything to me,"

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_**Denial of impact**__: Denial of impact involves a person's avoiding thinking about or understanding the harms his or her behaviour has caused to self or others. Doing this enables that person to avoid feeling a sense of guilt and it can prevent him or her from developing remorse or empathy for others. Denial of impact reduces or eliminates a sense of pain or harm from poor decisions._

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**I probably should have stopped him, you never know what he could have done, but I have to admit, it was quite late and I was really sleepy. I didn't really know what was going on. **

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"Oh come on!"

"Fine then, I did,"

"Ha! I knew it!"

"I didn't know what was going on! She caught me by surprise!"

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_**Denial of awareness**__: People using this type of denial will avoid pain and harm by stating they were in a different state of awareness (such as alcohol or drug intoxication or on occasion mental health related). This type of denial often overlaps with denial of responsibility._

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**It just sort of…happened…**

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"Yeah, sure it did,"

"No really!"

"Liar."

"I'm not lying!"

"Moony, tell Prongs I'm not talking to him because he's a liar,"

"Prongs, Padfoot isn't talking to you because he believes you are a liar,"

"I'm not lying! I just got caught up in the moment that's all!"

"You are such a liar, James Potter!"

"I thought you weren't talking to him?"

"Shut up, Moony."

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_**Denial of cycle**__: Many who use this type of denial will say things such as, "it just happened." Denial of cycle is where a person avoids looking at their decisions leading up to an event. It can also serve as a way to blame or justify behaviour. _

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**Dear Diary,**

**When I told Mary that James and I were dating, she laughed and told me how she'd "seen it coming since forever". I told her that she was the thick one and that it hadn't been "coming since forever". **

**Then she told me that I really was thick because even after all of this I was still drowning in the Nile. **

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Neither James no Lily could name the exact defining moment when their relationship began. "It just happened," they said to anyone who asked. It was a plausible argument to them, after all there were no significant events leading up to the decision. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Neither of them had harboured strong feelings for the other before then.

Neither of them had treated the other differently from any other person or taken anything more than a polite interest in each others personal affairs. They had not had crushes on each other and they had most certainly not thought about each other in a lustful manner.

And they both agreed that no matter what their friends said, the Nile was a river in Egypt that had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

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_**Denial of denial**__: This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify within themselves. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviours which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behaviour. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion._

_.org/wiki/Denial#Types_of_Denial _

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_Good enough for a review? =P_


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